KILLER-FACT

I would like to report a THEFT. A friend of mine from Birmingham recently posted me some Class A narcotics in a jiffy bag. The package, sir, never arrived, and I can only assume that a Royal Mail employee has stolen it. These vermin are clearly hiding behind the fact that I cannot complain it without incrimating myself, so they think they are safe.

Well bollocks to it. When one has chosen, as I have chosen, to devote one's life to supplying the British teenager with really good heroin, it is galling to be thwarted at every turn by petty thieves. What am I supposed to tell my customers? They were relying on that heroin to get them through their GCSEs. You are probably thinking, "Oh, so what if a few junkies don't get their drugs." But if you had seen the tears on a child's face, when it has been deprived of its fix, you might not be so thick-skinned.

So instead of mincing around in aprons at your masonic functions, like poncing great pooftahs, why don't you get out into the Post Offices for a change, and crack down on the real criminals? Or are you too busy acting the goat in your shiny new helicopters at $800 an hour?

I'm just glad I don't pay my taxes.

Yours faithfully,

H Hutton

(NO REPLY)

URGENT! PLEASE SEND 300 KILOS OF WHITE MICE. NO TIME TO EXPLAIN

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HOW TO WIN WITH WOMEN!

What is the scent women find most attractive? Musk? Pheromones? Eau de Cologne? In fact, it is none of these. The smell that really gets them hot is the smell of CASH!

Dr Herman Van Loon of the University of Nebraska has dedicated his life to isolating scent particles from dollar bills, and has now developed CASH!, the only aftershave made with real money. Wherever you go you'll be followed by the mouth-watering aroma of greenbacks; she'll find you attractive, but she won't know why.

To find out more about CASH! write to Dr Van Loon at the University of Nebraska, enclosing a pre-paid envelope and your favourite tie.

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KILLER LINKS!

The Big Lychee
Hemlock's Diary
Gweilo Diaries
Flying Chair
The Shaky Kaiser
Simon World
Ordinary Gweilo
Fumier
Seelai
Discombobulated
Spirit Fingers
What am I doing here?

Peking Duck
The marmot (Korea)

...more soon

The Land of the Dingo:
TonyT (Virutally unintelligible to non-Australians)
The famous yobbo
Tim T (Achtung! Contains nudity)
Tim Blair
Currency Lad

Mud Island
Normblog
Boris Johnson MP
Lenin
Dead Men Left
Doctor Vee
Bint Magazine
Ang
Apostate Windbag
Squander2
Chris Lightfoot
Shot by both sides
Semi-skimmed
I Love Everything
In the Aquarium
Dismo
Albino-Neutrino

Revolted Colonies
Florida Cracker
Vice Squad
People's Republic of Seabrook
Alicublog

...more soon.

Know their onions:
MaxSpeak
Brad Delong

LINKING POLICY: If you link to me I will link back, even if your blog is complete tripe.

If you gave me a link and I still haven't linked back, why not send an email to bitch at me? Emails should be headed "It's just so unfair".

EMAIL: harryhutton01 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Also of interest:
Different ways Shakespeare said, "You can't judge by appearances".

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