Running away from dogs- the FUN way to fitness.
I am opposed to the hacking off of heads
Chat up line- guaranteed results!
How to say "Death to America!" in Arabic
How to say "Death to America!" in Farsi
I agree with Abu Hamza- up to a point
The modern UK: glue sniffers; drunken harpies
Which Spice Girl would you eat first?
Man, that's what I call real coffee
Woman says her best friends are cats
The British public are deeply stupid
Most of the world's problems still caused by Britain
When you sleep on the "cheap" bed, you will feel it is too bad
They're making great strides in China
I just want all the people and animals in the world to be happy
It's not my real ladder- it's my step-ladder
Capricorn- beware of falling masonry
If you don't clear off, I'll set the dogs on you
King of the blogs competition!
Iraq- it's all a matter of perspective
Vibrating ab-belt changed my life
This training day is as welcome as a cockroach in my salad
I'm sick of this country and its stupid taps
How would you like to get your hands on my dong?
Don't kill yourself- it's a beautiful world
My iPod is a glorified herd of cows
Murdering politicians is as American as apple pie
If Kerry got death threats from The Guardian, he'd probably soil himself
Professor Krugman, struck by a pie
This "election" in our revolted colonies is essentially a form of treason
Hitchens' double bluff irony impasse
TEACHING ENGLISH
Your child is an illiterate cabbage
Like a trouser, yet not a trouser
The British Council- at least it's not run by a drunk
Teaching English= non-academic sub-adult clowning
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
HOAXES
Letter to the Thames Valley Police
Open letter to Meatloaf
COLOMBIA
Shut your cake hole, you lunatic
Someone is getting mugged
NORTH KOREA
Billy Graham's gift to Comrade Kim Il Sung
The time I saw a woman get savaged by a bear
Kim Jong Il wouldn't do that- it's irrational
If London is still standing in 2020, I'll eat my hat
SPORTS JOURNALISM
People who like football should be put in boxes and bulldozed into the sea
Please hit our fans with clubs
I love Brazilian Ultimate Fighting
PALESTINE
The time I worked as a film censor in the Gaza Strip
Someone threw a bomb in our garden
It is high time Mr Arafat made up his mind if he is going to live or die
I MEAN IT (SERIOUS POSTS)
Was the US behind the coup in Venezuela?
Was the Venezuelan referendum fraudulent?
LITERATURE
Your severed foot would look good on my coffee table
MISC
Survey: Britons marginally less unpopular than the French
KILLER FACTS!
Killer Fact! (quality of life index)
Killer Fact! (British National Party)
Killer Fact! (Brazil, World Cup)
Killer Fact! (Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Engels)
Killer Fact! (Saddam Hussein / New York Times)
Killer Fact! (Suicide bombers)
Killer Fact! (Australian women)
Killer Fact! (Cocaine mark-ups)
Killer Fact! (Nobel Prizes by nationality)
Killer Fact! (King Shaka of the Zulus)
Killer Fact! (Churchill's mother)
RUNNING AWAY FROM DOGS- THE FUN WAY TO FITNESS
How can you lose weight fast? Which sport burns more calories per hour than any other? Swimming? Jogging? Aerobics? In fact, it is none of these. The best sport for weight-loss, muscle tone and the cardio-vascular system is Running Away From Dogs.
Which is why we at the Sports Science Labs of the University of Nebraska invented the Tunnel of Dogs. It couldn't be easier. Simply wait in the tunnel till the dog appears, then run for your life. When you have completed the requisite number of laps a net comes down, ensnaring the hound and saving you from a savaging. Never has losing weight been so easy.
Send us details of your heart-rate, body fat and medical history, and our experts will select the right dog for YOU. The dog is carefully weighted to match your overall speed and fitness. As you improve, simply remove the weights and the dog becomes progressively faster. Before the dog is released it is put in a cage and taunted. It is poked repeatedly with a stick until it is absolutely livid. Then, and only then, is it released to chase you. With its snapping jaws only inches away from your arse you will run like never before, knowing that it will sink its teeth into your soft flesh if you slow down for even a second.
If you are interested in Running Away From Dogs write to Dr Herman Van Loon at the University of Nebraska, enclosing a medical certificate and your favourite tie.
home / weblog / quizzes / women / politics, culture, etc. / countries / hoaxes, etc. / I hate teaching English / links
Killer Facts: page 1 / page 2 / page 3 / page 4 / page 5 ... more soon. Boring Facts
Killer Facts special editions: suicide statistics / Chinese disasters / Arab Americans / attitudes to the UK
NEW! CONTRIBUTE YOUR OWN KILLER FACTS HERE
HOW TO WIN WITH WOMEN! What is the scent women find most attractive? Musk? Pheromones? Eau de Cologne? In fact, it is none of these. The smell that really gets them hot is the smell of CASH! Dr Herman Van Loon of the University of Nebraska has dedicated his life to isolating scent particles from dollar bills, and has now developed CASH!, the only aftershave made with real money. Wherever you go you'll be followed by the mouth-watering aroma of greenbacks; she'll find you attractive, but she won't know why. To find out more about CASH! write to Dr Van Loon at the University of Nebraska, enclosing a pre-paid envelope and your favourite tie. |
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Hunting debate- vote now!
KILLER LINKS!
The Big Lychee
Hemlock's Diary
Gweilo Diaries
Flying Chair
The Shaky Kaiser
Simon World
Ordinary Gweilo
Fumier
Seelai
Discombobulated
Spirit Fingers
What am I doing here?
Peking Duck
The marmot (Korea)
...more soon
The Land of the Dingo:
TonyT (Virutally unintelligible to non-Australians)
The famous yobbo
Tim T (Achtung! Contains nudity)
Tim Blair
Currency Lad
Mud Island
Normblog
Boris Johnson MP
Lenin
Dead Men Left
Doctor Vee
Bint Magazine
Ang
Apostate Windbag
Squander2
Chris Lightfoot
Shot by both sides
Semi-skimmed
I Love Everything
In the Aquarium
Dismo
Albino-Neutrino
Revolted Colonies
Florida Cracker
Vice Squad
People's Republic of Seabrook
Alicublog
Oregon Commentator
...more soon.
Know their onions:
MaxSpeak
Brad Delong
LINKING POLICY: If you link to me I will link back, even if your blog is complete tripe.
If you gave me a link and I still haven't linked back, why not send an email to bitch at me? Emails should be headed "It's just so unfair".
EMAIL: harryhutton01 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Also of interest:
Different ways Shakespeare said, "You can't judge by appearances".
Spice Girls debate- have YOUR say!
I am a
Stuffed Bison
in the
TTLB Ecosystem
Glenn Reynolds says, "I wash with a rag on a stick".
